52 Weeks

52 weeks ago, I wasn’t. I wasn’t a lot of things. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t in love, I wasn’t in this place. Teeming with nervous energy. Anxious and hopeful about the future.

I was devastated. I was sitting in the parking lot of my gym, chatting with my mom, when I realized the tone in her voice was off. It had been off the day before too. I can’t remember if I asked if anything was wrong the day before but I remember thinking it. Something was wrong. She approached it slowly. Reassuring me that it was going to be alright but she needed to let me know. Breast cancer. They’d confirm it the day after, but the physician that did the biopsy had seen enough cases to best prepare her. Be prepared. She was calm , collect, matter of fact. I took a few deep breaths, got off the phone, and proceeded inside and climbed on a treadmill. Before I had even gone a quarter of a mile I was breathing heavy. Too heavy. I ripped off my headphones, jumped off, and held my hand over my chest and my rapidly beating heart. Not the most opportune moment to have an anxiety attack.

I drove home, stopped by the nearest market and grabbed whatever wine was closest. I remember it was a white (which I never drink, I’m a red girl) and I sat on my bed and bawled.

I drank the entire bottle. Fell asleep. Woke up the next morning with a lump in my chest. A lump that I don’t think will ever go away. This year has changed me, changed us, our family.

We are closer, happier, we play more, I think we love harder because you just never know. Her port is now out, her hair has grown back, her life getting back to normal. Although to be completely honest, the woman never slowed down much. She kept working, kept her commitments, and didn’t allow herself the pity parties. She’s amazing, a rockstar, and well, just my mom. It makes perfect sense that she would have approached it like this. She’s five feet two inches of awesome. It’s how those Reichert/Mitchell ladies roll.

So, 53 weeks later (I started this post a week ago), it’s done. It’s a mess of emotions, and my best friend is back to herself. She’s chipper and happy and so centered. It’s amazing to watch and I am so thankful for that little lady who just kicked cancer in the ass.

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